Soon to be on low budget cable channels

God is really having fun with me. I'm pretty sure our house is shown in heaven as an Earth reality show called "Mom in Training" directed by and starring Landrie Hendrix with guest appearances by other family members. 
Just this morning I'm sitting with my mom friend, Danielle while we wait for our two angels to have state funded speech therapy. (another topic for another post) Our conversations are random due to sleep deprivation by both of us, even though we have 30 precious minutes (with only 1 bathroom interruption by the girls) to have adult conversation. I comment that my oldest child can be completely consumed once the tv is on. His cartoon can end and the DVR may switch channels to say a Lifetime movie. He doesn't care, he'll sit and get totally involved in the life of a middle age women trying to redefine herself.  (This obviously requires careful monitoring!)  I had always been a little intrigued by the phenomenon. It's partly my fault, or maybe 100%. When I was pregnant with his sister he would say as a mere 2 year old "Mom, I've got a deal. I'll watch a cartoon and you take a nap!"  Pregnant and 39, so what do you think happened?  He watched, I napped with one eye open, life was good!  What an attention span he has........
Fast forward from 8:15am to 11:30am:  Landrie is chasing me around the house begging to brush and comb my hair. She's got her pink doll brush and comb. She is persistent and very cute with her progressing speech. How can I resist?  2 or 3 more household errands and I give in to her request. I find a nice spot in the floor in front of the couch and inform her to sit on the couch so she can reach my head for what is sure to be the sweetest mother/daughter moment of the hour! Can't you just see it!! She does request a cup of water for the brushing and I politely decline having wet hair.
Well, Kole got a Wii for Christmas, which is total fun. When you play with Kole you abide by the official 7 year old rules! (subject to change at any split second)  So I decide to flip on the tube and play a little Wii any way I want. Mario, here I come. I'm jumping and grabbing coins and getting hidden hints....too much fun. We played Pong as children and that is the extent of my video game expertise. 43 years of being deprived of video games, I'm having a ball now. Landrie is quietly and gently touching my hair, no fussing to distract me anyway. I'm being super mom right?! She's brushing my hair and I'm allowing it. Wohoo, look out for the crazy turtle Mario!  I don't know how long this goes on, seriously. I'm just having fun and Landrie's having fun. "Ouch." I say. Landrie "sorry". More Mario, run, jump, yeah baby. Then, then, then I hear the strangest noise. I have heard this noise many times.  You know, the sound you hear when you're sitting in the chair at the salon. The very crisp snipping sound. I am elevated to a foot above ground and land towering over Landrie and the couch in a nano-second. Unbelievable, she has small scissors from the child-proof locked knife drawer and there is a pile of hair nearly piled beside her. It appears to be the length of the highest layer on my head. I can't find a gouge, but if you see me with spikes near my crown in a month, well now you know.
A heavenly watcher of the show clicks it off and comments "43, and one more clue discovered. Will 15 more years of training be enough for her to figure it out?"   Stay tuned.